Perhaps you need to forgive yourself. Frequent or overwhelming bouts of guilt can contribute to and intensify any emotional problem often leaving a feeling of exhaustion, anxiety and depression. We experience guilt when we are not living up to our own or others expectations but are these expectations always responsible.
When you blame others you give your own power away because you’re placing the responsibility for your feelings on someone else. Taking responsibility for your own feelings and reactions is mastering your ability to react.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the uncomfortable behaviours of another to continue in your life. Forgiveness can sometimes mean letting go: You forgive that person and then you release them. By setting healthy boundaries is often the most loving thing you can do not only for yourself, but for the other person as well. No matter what your reasons are for having unpleasant, unforgiving feelings, you can go past them. You have a choice. You can choose to stay stuck and resentful, or you can do yourself a favour by willingly forgiving what happened in the past; letting it go; and then moving on to create a fulfilling life. .
You can never be free of resentment as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. Thoughts of bitterness can’t create happiness. No matter how validated you feel you are, no matter what others did, if you insist on holding on to the past, then you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past. Love is always the answer to healing of any sort. And the pathway to love is forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment.
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
You may never fathom why they did what they did, but it can sometimes help to see things from their side. It’s not about taking the blame for anything or try to find excuses for them but taking time to empathise with them for a moment can sometimes make it easier to see we are all human and we are nowhere near faultless.
Consider if you had done what they have and how much being forgiven would mean to you .Have you made a mistake at some point and hurt somebody yourself. Try your hardest to imagine hurting somebody the way you were just hurt, and think about how great forgiveness would be for all involved. Forgiveness is still for you, not them, but a little empathy might help you get to a forgiving state of mind faster.
Write the person (or yourself) a letter. You don’t have to send it, but writing those emotions on paper gives them a place to live outside of yourself and your body. Validate your emotions by breathing life into them. Journalling is highly recommended.